Do you really think taking a crying toddler out of a public place will get the parent anywhere?
If you need food , clothes, or something important and your toddler starts crying .I have seen some people answer to take the kids out of there,Like they were never a toddler once.I guess the family should go hungry because the child needs to be taken out side and it is more important for others to be comfortable.Not all toddlers settle down and stop crying so the parent can go back in and get another chance to shop.Not all kids respond to hugs to calm down, especially mine she gets so many hugs and kisses at home it will not work in public. She wants to help shop instead that is what keeps her calm.There are sometimes when she does cry and a little bit and someone looks at me like toddlers do not belong.Please !! I do not think so.
take inconsideration some people do have and do not believe in babysitters.
If the rest of the world does not like they should leave and shop some where else .
For others peoples comfort we all will take our kids from the store to calm down from a fit and makes us late for doctors, work , and starve.
Once my nefew was under child social services because of my bad sister and the social service said no disipline, humiliation or anything for him at all is aloud while under child social services.So I was like so what if he misbehaves? They said ignore him let him do it , and he will stop.You know what it worked in the mall one day he threw a fit on the floor and we just stood there because we were not aloud to crab him , he was kicking.Then he got the hint that it was getting no were and he never did it again.
Get the PARENT anywhere?
It’s not really about the parent. it’s about the kid. Everybody forgives a little kid for being a pain in the store. It’s when they get beyond the toddler stage and are just being a pain in the butt that people don’t like.
Seeing Mother not doing anything about it bugs people…….If the child is clean, just fed and not crabby because naptime just happened, great.
If mother brings in an unchanged, tired, hungry kid, she should have her head examined. Hey, it’s not great but that’s life
If you’ve done everything to make sure that the kid won’t go ballistic in the store and they still do——–so be it!
I don’t know about the parent, but it would be a lot easier on my ears.
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a little bit of crying here and there is fine….it is the full on tantrums that require removal from the situation. I have had to take my son out 3 times, and I didn’t get the things i needed from the store. I only left because I knew by the way he was acting that it wasn’t going to stop, so I left as a courtesy to the other shoppers and for my own sanity. I can’t stand it when parents ignore their children’t tantrums in public. If your kid doesn’t behave then don’t bring them to public places until they do. I know that you cant always control a childs behavior, but it isn’t the rest of the worlds fault that you had a child so I don’t think they should have to suffer because of it. jmo
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Forget other people. They always think they know what is best for other people.
Each child is different. Sometimes a parent doesn’t HAVE to shop…& recognizes that their child needs food or a nap…making the shopping trip nonproductive. Each case varies.
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To a certain extent, it’s okay if your kid is crying in the store or something. If you’re toddler is throwing a fit, screaming, screeching, making any sort of noise that should never come out of such a little person, then the parent should definitely take the kid to the side or somewhere private & deal with it there. It’s rude to make a bunch of strangers listen to that crap. I don’t think you have to leave, but just wait until the child calms down enough for everyone to handle. A kid can only cry so long. I think the parents that do take their kids aside & deal with it somewhere else until their child is calm are great parents. Not only are they respecting other people, but they’re teaching their child that it’s not okay to act like that. I’ve never ever heard of any families starving or not having clothing because of a fussy toddler preventing them from shopping.
Edit: Clearly, you are a selfish, inconsiderate idiot. I hope your child gets the manners that you lack.
The "rest of the world" don’t take screaming kids to the store. Why should "the rest of the world" have to leave the store due to YOUR child screaming? It’s called common courtesy…that is, to the people who actually give a rats @$$ about people other than themselves.
Nobody has starved from removing their kids from a store.
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Crying is one thing, throwing a fit and crying with the fit is another. When the fit happens and they are mad about something or want something and they are crying cause of that, then yes, I deal with the issue immediatly! My children are not allowed to throw fits, cry or scream out of anger, and it is my job as mom to make sure that I am consistant with my rules and guidlines. Do I say forget it and leave town? No, we may need to visit the bathroom or the car but then we continue where we left off.
There are too many parents I see walking through stores and their children are screaming, throwing themselves around the cart, on the floor or hitting and screaming at the parent, when I see this I often wonder what would happen if I offered to take their child outside temporarily. That is the situation where dealing with the childs behavior is way more important that getting that cute dress on sale!! What you show your kids now and what you allow will become habit for them and will magnify itself as they get older. I choose to have self discipline and self controll magnafied and not a screaming brat.
Do I think that just because a child is crying cause of a hurt finger or something like that is then needed to take them out? No, of course not, but there aren’t that many kids in the stores that are crying because of a true cause.
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Mommy of three
I agree with you. It is embarassing when people look at you, but the fact is you can’t just keep your kid locked up and you can’t just leave because your baby is crying.
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i didnt have a baby sitter. My son was with me all the time.
yes he threw his fits in the store. I would try to get him distracted with a book from the kid section. or a toy or food just some thing to get his mind switched over from crying mode. But some times it just doesnt work. And yes you need to leave. For the Child sake, your sake, and the people in the store sake. Its a gamble. Welcome to mother hood.
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You don’t say how old she is.
When my son was two and he cried while we were shopping, it was usually because of a specific need. I could usually stop the tears by fixing what he needed. I would keep him entertained or feed him or pay some attention to him. When he was three, his department store tantrum was more of a test of boundaries. I had allowed him to put a treat in our cart and he wanted another. I said no and he started screaming. I calmly told him that if he didn’t stop, I would take him home without the treat. He didn’t, I did.
Five years later, my son was eight and his little brother was three. My youngest was allowed to choose a treat and then he asked for another. I said no, he started with a fullblown tantrum and I was startled to hear his big brother say "If you don’t behave, mom’ll pick you up and take you home with no goodies… believe me, I’ve seen her do it" *lol* He quieted down and never had another public tantrum and I didn’t have to say a word.
If you toddler is crying out of need, it’s nobody’s business … actually, if your toddler is crying out of a power struggle, that’s also nobody’s business but you should be treating the two things differently. Letting her help shop is a very good thing though
I always let my guys put some of the groceries in the cart or pick out the best apples. I found that letting them choose things like fruits and veggies made them very happy to eat them when I’d let them know that was the special one they chose themselves.
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I don’t have a problem with a crying toddler what I DO have a problem with is what time they bring their child to shop! Is is nap time,feeding time?? Or is it WAY past their bed time? You have to figure stuff like this out BEFORE you go out to shop!! DON’T blame it on the child and threaten to beat their butt if they don’t shush..I feel like slapping some parents that do that "yeah let’s beat the kid more so they scream louder" Disrepect is why this country is where it’s at!!!
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I wish i could just walk out of a shop when my son does it but i live too far away from family so none of them can babysit and a 20 min walk from the shops so i usually cant be bothered making 2 trips but he will scream on the way home and annoy people anyway so i stay it doesnt take long for the kids to realise they are not going to get their own way and they are smart and will just crack it when going to shops in future.
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Here’s the thing-it’s NOT about the other shoppers. I couldn’t personally give a crap LESS if someone has a problem with my son throwing a fit. He’s three-he does that-get over it.
The problem with it is that if you allow your child to behave that way it leads to self-indulgance, poor impulse control, generally controlling behavior towards other people, not to mention make YOUR life miserable. When you allow your child to throw screaming tantrums in the store [I'm not saying they're wimpering or pouting I'm saying SCREAMING FIREY TANTRUMS] it actually is hurting them by allowing behavior that can lead to more serious problems in the future. [People that are self-indulgent and have poor impulse control often end up with substance abuse/addition issues, and people who are controlling are just generally unpleasant and will find social situations difficult.]
It is for your child’s OWN GOOD [not the comfort of the public-screw them] that you need to put an end to the behavior. If you can’t leave, fine. Take them into the car or bathroom until they are in control of themselves, or develop a system of discipline that you can do while you’re in the store. Whatever you have to do-you MUST put an end to that kind of behavior for your child’s sake.
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Mom of a 3.5 year old boy
I don’t think that you should take your child ou t of a public place when they start crying because they learn then that when they are older if they dont want to be there anymore all they have to do is cry because they know that you are going to leave then so it’s best to put up with the crying even though it can be embarassing.
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I think parent’s should learn to train their children so that disobedience is not an issue. All kids have bad days and so do parents, but allowing a child to emotionally blackmail you and hold you hostage by bad behavior serves no one! The child learns to become a tyrant and a parent learns how to beg and plead with a little dictator.
I highly suggest every parent read, "How to Train Up a Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl. It would do them, their children and the public a great service.
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Get the PARENT anywhere?
It’s not really about the parent. it’s about the kid. Everybody forgives a little kid for being a pain in the store. It’s when they get beyond the toddler stage and are just being a pain in the butt that people don’t like.
Seeing Mother not doing anything about it bugs people…….If the child is clean, just fed and not crabby because naptime just happened, great.
If mother brings in an unchanged, tired, hungry kid, she should have her head examined. Hey, it’s not great but that’s life
If you’ve done everything to make sure that the kid won’t go ballistic in the store and they still do——–so be it!
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I myself have been an advocate of not allowing my child to misbehave in a store/ restaurant etc etc and it has truly worked wonders. As soon as they misbehave I leave wherever we are and I state my dissappointment in their behaviour. Just yesterday we were at the doctor and for the first time in many many months they behaved really bad, fighting etc. I took them outside. Sat them both down and told them no treats for the day. That I was going to take them to McD’s 4 lunch but not now. Generally they get the gist and they pull up big time thereafter. Good luck, and don’t forget to breathe.:-)
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A certain amount of crying is perfectly fine for a toddler. However when it turns into a full blown tantrum, then yes, I believe you take the child out of the store even if you are shopping. Yes, I have taken into consideration that people don’t believe in babysitters, but I also believe that if my child was screaming and crying in a public place, that it’s my responsibility to calm him, and to ensure that people around aren’t bothered. If an adult was screaming and throwing a fit, they would be escorted out of the store. I believe removing the child from the situation can help calm them (and me), rather then thinking it’s stunting my ability to shop.
Sure it’s frustrating to leave a store in the middle of shopping, but it’s not like I never make my way back into the store at any time. Might be after a few minutes, might actually be a day or two. But that’s not my child’s fault, nor is it mine. Being a parent is stressful enough without having to drag a screaming toddle around a store just because I might be inconvienced.
And nephew by the way.
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Hi – I have 4 kids. (12, 9, 4 and 18 months). If they are crying in the store. They cry. Though they don’t cry very often – just rarely if they are overtired or perhaps I’ve been a "meany" and said no to a request. I usually shop in the mornings when they are happy and like you, I let them be involved in ticking off the list, helping choose the fruit and veg etc. etc. It is a pleasant experience instead! Kids cry, some cry more than others. It doesn’t bother me to hear kids crying in the store. We do our best as Moms and I would rather have time with my baby with me even if she is crying than have her babysit by someone else.
Hooray for you for sticking up for yourself – you are being the best Mom you can. Don’t worry about what people think – they should be so lucky to have a lovely little child!!
Oh yeah – and it is obvious the people who are complaining about your question don’t have children themselves!! It is so, so, so hard when you are exhausted and only have a little bit of time to get everything done – the shopping, appointments etc. and you have your little one with you – they completely do not understand!!!! With my 4 kids – can you imagine how much fun I have at the store!!! Ha ha – I haven’t had my hair cut since January!!
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I agree,
The key is to stop the tantrum before it starts. When you see them getting fussy get down to eye level and tell them to stop it or you are going to take them to the car or the restroom. If they continue keep you word and do it rather it is a timeout or a spanking. If you do it from day one they will know whats to come if they keep it up. Also never give them what they want in a store and make sure they are feed and rested before them in public. I NEVER let my children cry in public unless they hurt themselves. However I can also respect others who choose to ignore their whining too because it does work sometimes.
BTW I could care less what CPS says. No child is going manipulate me.
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If my kid was prone to having full blown tantrums in stores, I’d just have grandma watch him/her while I went shopping OR make sure I bring my hubby or someone else with me when I go shopping, so they could bring the child outside to calm down.
Other customers have the right to peaceful shopping. And besides, my ideas above would make it more peaceful for everyone – me, baby, and others.
I think NOT taking your kid out of the situation will only teach them that it’s okay to act that way in public. And you know what? It’s not. A lesson better learned when young.
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its not so much about respecting other people, its more about teaching your child to behave and listen no matter where they are, the parents didnt say "if you dont stop we are leaving" so they can still come back in and finish. going outside just helps to calm the child and show them that if they dont act right that they will get a consequence. if that doesnt work and you HAVE TO get something then just go back and get a little bit of stuff, then i would suggest time out in the car (put in car seat with car on of corse then stand outside the car with you back to them but with drivers door open)
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